A Masterlist of Writing on Asexuality

I’ve been looking back at some of the things I’ve posted on this blog about asexuality over the last week, and I’ve realised that there’s actually a lot more there than I thought there was. Which feels pretty good, to be honest, because over the past year I’ve not exactly felt the most confident in my asexuality-writing endeavours. This is possibly a side-effect of being an Honours student, and spending every bit of my reading and writing energy on my thesis. And probably some other things as well.

But, the thesis is now done and dusted, and seeing as I’m trying to tidy up the blog a bit, I thought I’d make a masterlist of all the things I’ve written over the past four years. Eventually I want to include this on the asexuality resource page I’m working on (just for this blog, nothing fancy). In the meantime, I thought I’d post it here as a reference for anyone who might be interested… More A Masterlist of Writing on Asexuality

An Asexual Future?

This is my post for the September Carnival of Aces, which I am hosting this month.

Last month, Queenie posted to The Asexual Agenda on how hard it is facing the future without some sort of map. Her post really resonated with me. (It was also one of the reasons why I chose the theme of ‘living asexuality’ for this month’s carnival.) One of the things she wrote was this:

In the past few months, I’ve kept coming back to Laura’s piece on growing old alone. In some ways, it’s a very real worry–while I do have a lovely partner and a wonderful found family, there’s always the concern that my found family won’t prioritize me because I’m not a romantic partner (or a blood relation) and if my girlfriend and I ever break up there’s my super tiny dating puddle hanging over my head… The loneliness I connect to in that piece is a different sort of loneliness–it’s not having role models, not having other people who’ve already navigated the same territory and can point the way.

Like Queenie, I have been thinking a lot about what my future is going to look like as well. It’s something I’ve written a bit about before: how there’s not really many different options for living arrangements if you don’t want to live with a partner or start your own family. But that was quite a while ago now, and things have changed in the three years since I wrote that post. Or perhaps they haven’t. Either way, it’s a topic that’s been on my mind a lot.… More An Asexual Future?

Feeling Apart

I have been having a lot of weird feelings about being asexual lately. Feelings of doubt, confusion, isolation.

Part of this has to do with the fact that a few months ago, I ended my relationship with my partner – at least, I ended the aspect of us being partners. Never having been in a relationship or ended a relationship with someone before, I didn’t really know what I was meant to be feeling or doing – and there are very few resources out there on what ending a relationship looks like when it doesn’t fit into the standard romantic-sexual mould, and how to deal with the feelings that I was having. There were certainly times when I felt my ace-ness very acutely. It has not been the smoothest few months, but things are starting to look up again now, which I’m grateful for. If nothing else, my honours thesis did an excellent job at keeping me distracted.

But there have also been other feelings over the past weeks, which I haven’t quite been able to shake… More Feeling Apart

Call for Submissions: September 2015 Carnival of Aces

This month I’ll once again be hosting the Carnival of Aces, a blogging carnival for writing about asexuality, aromanticism and anything else on the ace-spectrum. You can find out more about the Carnival and see previous carnivals at the masterpost on The Asexual Agenda.

The theme I’ve chosen for this month is ‘living asexuality.’ It was partially inspired by Queenie’s post on facing the future without a map, and partly by the August carnival’s theme, which was ‘ideals.’ I thought this theme might make provide a good contrast to the previous month’s focus, in that it allows people to explore what asexuality really looks and feels like in everyday life, relationships, and situations… More Call for Submissions: September 2015 Carnival of Aces

Why are Korra and Asami in a Romantic Relationship?

Yep, spoilers for all of The Legend of Korra in here, in case the title of the post hasn’t scared you off already.

It will surprise no-one that I am a huge fan of The Legend of Korra. Back in the early days of Korra, I used to ask myself which I loved more: the original Avatar: The Last Airbender series, or Korra, and I could never quite make up my mind. Into the third season and then the fourth, any doubts were decisively pushed aside – there was no longer any question about it that (for me, at least) Korra had far exceeded Avatar.

So it will also surprise no-one that I loved the ending of Book 4 of Korra (like the vast majority of the internet and the Korra fandom). Korra decides that she’s finally had enough of the love-triangles and relationship-dramas of Books a 1 and 2 and decides to head off to explore the world with Asami instead? Brilliant! But it took me all of two minutes to realise that the reasons I adored the finale were kind of different to what everyone else was squeeing about. You see, what I was most excited by was the fact that Korra and Asami didn’t kiss… More Why are Korra and Asami in a Romantic Relationship?

The Stuff in Between (some thoughts on sex and gender)

Something every new feminist, I think, has to contend with at some point is the question of gender, and what it really is. My own understanding of this question has gone through quite a few evolutions over the years I’ve been interested in feminism and its theory and practice. This post is a bit of a reflection on my own changing understanding of sex and gender and the relationship of the two – nothing cohesive, just some of my own musings over the years.

The first revelation came quite easily, at some point in high school, the idea that sex and gender are not actually the same thing. It’s the most basic realisation of gender studies, social science, anthropology and most humanities fields, and since I picked up on it, it’s felt so commonplace and obvious I have to roll my eyes when my intro to anthropology lecturer spends a whole lecture on it, only to continue to get it wrong throughout… More The Stuff in Between (some thoughts on sex and gender)