Feeling Apart

I have been having a lot of weird feelings about being asexual lately. Feelings of doubt, confusion, isolation.

Part of this has to do with the fact that a few months ago, I ended my relationship with my partner – at least, I ended the aspect of us being partners. Never having been in a relationship or ended a relationship with someone before, I didn’t really know what I was meant to be feeling or doing – and there are very few resources out there on what ending a relationship looks like when it doesn’t fit into the standard romantic-sexual mould, and how to deal with the feelings that I was having. There were certainly times when I felt my ace-ness very acutely. It has not been the smoothest few months, but things are starting to look up again now, which I’m grateful for. If nothing else, my honours thesis did an excellent job at keeping me distracted.

But there have also been other feelings over the past weeks, which I haven’t quite been able to shake … More Feeling Apart

My Hair

My hair and I have an interesting relationship. It’s changed a lot over the past few years as well, which is why I thought I’d post about it today. It’s quite funny how hair can be a marker of lots of different things, including major life changes. For me, confidence has been one of the … More My Hair

A New Year

It’s been a bit quiet here on the blog lately. The beginning of the year is always pretty busy, if not with uni work, then with life things – visiting family, getting back into the research job I got for the summer, organising to go overseas at the end of the month, pondering the year … More A New Year

On Rape Culture and Sensitivity

Trigger Warning: discussions of fictional sexual assault/rape. Since I have actively begun calling myself a feminist and reading and writing about feminism, I’ve noticed that my reactions to situations and people’s experiences have changed a lot. In particular I’ve noticed that I’ve become a lot more sensitive to violence, especially against women, and especially sexual … More On Rape Culture and Sensitivity

Not a Woman

I don’t like calling myself a woman. I don’t like being called a woman either. Don’t get me wrong, I am completely satisfied to inhabit my female body. But there’s something about the word “woman” that doesn’t compute with the way I see myself. Several somethings, actually. I don’t like the way “woman” is constructed in … More Not a Woman

Being an Ace Feminist

I’ve been thinking about the way that my identity as a feminist and my identity as asexual intersect. Although I discovered feminism and asexuality around the same time, I’ve only started pondering their influence on each other over the last few weeks. One of the big, underlying feminist ideas (for me at least) is the … More Being an Ace Feminist

The politics of worth

Chally just today posted at her blog, Zero at the Bone (my current favourite blog) about “loving yourself, and the social value of putting yourself down.” I attempted to leave a comment to her excellent and thoughtful discussion, but ended up having to think about what she wrote more deeply, in regards to my own … More The politics of worth

On asexuality

I have been thinking a lot lately about my identity, particularly my sexuality. As such, this is quite a personal and think-out-loud post. If that’s not your thing, don’t read. It’s actually quite hard and conflicting to write about as well, but I want to contribute to the online community and bank of experiences. My … More On asexuality