Book Review: Rachel Hills, The Sex Myth

There aren’t many books out there that are a) about sex and sexuality, and b) ace-friendly. So when I first came across Australian journalist Rachel Hill’s book The Sex Myth: The Gap Between Our Fantasies and Reality last year, I was pretty excited, but also slightly nervous. (The nervousness I blame on all those anthropology textbooks I had to read for university one semester that told me that sex was inherently what makes us human – and, well, most of what is written about sex in general.)

Turns out that I really didn’t have to worry in this case, because The Sex Myth is one of the most ace-friendly books about sexuality and sexual culture (for lack of a better term) I’ve ever read. So I thought I’d share some of my thoughts on the book here – alongside copious quotes to illustrate why I like this book so much.

The Sex Myth is all about the role that sex plays in our lives and our society – and critiquing the way that sex has become so all-encompassing, so fundamental to our identities and self-worth and ideas of success, that is has become more powerful and more elevated than all other things we do … More Book Review: Rachel Hills, The Sex Myth

Feeling Apart

I have been having a lot of weird feelings about being asexual lately. Feelings of doubt, confusion, isolation.

Part of this has to do with the fact that a few months ago, I ended my relationship with my partner – at least, I ended the aspect of us being partners. Never having been in a relationship or ended a relationship with someone before, I didn’t really know what I was meant to be feeling or doing – and there are very few resources out there on what ending a relationship looks like when it doesn’t fit into the standard romantic-sexual mould, and how to deal with the feelings that I was having. There were certainly times when I felt my ace-ness very acutely. It has not been the smoothest few months, but things are starting to look up again now, which I’m grateful for. If nothing else, my honours thesis did an excellent job at keeping me distracted.

But there have also been other feelings over the past weeks, which I haven’t quite been able to shake … More Feeling Apart

The 82nd Edition of the Down Under Feminists’ Carnival

The DUFC is a collection of writing on broadly-defined feminist issues by Australian and New Zealand bloggers. It encompasses everything from political commentary to topics like race, gender, sexual inequality, queer issues, disability, human rights and social justice, sex and relationships, fat politics, feminist theory and more.

Welcome to the 82nd Edition of the Down Under Feminists’ Carnival!

Thanks to everyone who contributed to this edition! I hope you all enjoy. … More The 82nd Edition of the Down Under Feminists’ Carnival

Why Asexual is a Label I Need: An Open Letter to Matty Silver

An open letter in response to Matty Silver’s article in the SMH: ‘Asexuality: Don’t be too hasty with labels.’ Dear Ms Silver, As an asexual person and an asexual activist, I am always happy to see asexuality featured in public discourse. As a sexual orientation, asexuality is woefully under-studied, under-discussed and under-represented in the media … More Why Asexual is a Label I Need: An Open Letter to Matty Silver

Naked Bodies = Sex

In western society, it’s generally thought that nudity is something that belongs in private, and not in public. As a kid, running around without clothes on isn’t really frowned upon – it’s considered innocent and natural. But as soon as you hit puberty or thereabouts, it suddenly becomes less ok, unless you’re in the privacy … More Naked Bodies = Sex

An Open Letter (or: I am not sick and sexuality is not a choice)

Taking a page out of  SwankIvy‘s book. My response to a lovely message I got the other day, from someone who decided that they knew more about me than I did, and that I obviously need help. Hi there, family friend. Well, it’s always nice to know that you’ve got me all figured out in … More An Open Letter (or: I am not sick and sexuality is not a choice)