Over the last few weeks there have been several instances where I’ve felt challenged on the fact that I claim the label “asexual” for myself.
I know that labels can be used to put people in boxes. I know that labels make some people invisible because they don’t completely fit into that description. I know that not wanting a label can be incredibly powerful and freeing.
But here’s why I value my label, and use it openly:
I use my label because a year ago, I had no idea that asexuality existed.
I use my label because a year ago, I thought I was a freak who just couldn’t be interested in anyone.
I use my label because I can finally explain myself.
I use my label because it reminds me that it’s ok to be me.
I use my label because it tells me that there are other people out there who are happy and proud and asexual.
I use my label because it means I’m not just a frigid bitch who hates other people, who shuts off if other people show interest in me.
I use my label because I don’t have to worry about not being interested in other people.
I use my label because I have an identity now, rather than hoping that one day, I’ll fit into the other categories.
I use my label because it is powerful to me.
Next time you tell me that it’s stupid to label myself, that I shouldn’t label myself, please remember that not needing a label is still a privilege. Not everyone is as lucky as you. We all fit and don’t fit in different ways. Don’t tell me that I’m fitting or not fitting wrong.
A life unexamined 
Hi-five!
I think this is about having a label that fits and makes your soul sing. Back when I knew I liked girls, I made with the “oh, it’s not about labels!” because I didn’t feel like a “lesbian”, or indeed like a “bisexual”.
Then I got to uni, a friend suggested I was panromantic, or queer, and both of those labels made me jump for joy and feel happy about myself. I don’t know why – I think words can be subjective. So I do label myself now, but only because i have found labels that fit all of me.
I’m doing a similar thing at the moment with “zaaaarg don’t label my gender!”. Having been around queer for years, I know all of the common gender labels and I’ve still not found one that makes me happy. I don’t know if I will.
But yes, I’m glad you’ve found the label that brings you joy 🙂
(also in practical terms, “we shouldn’t label ourselves!” is an irritating mantra. When I ask you out, I’d rather know a) your gender identity, so I don’t disrespect you when doing so, b) your orientation, so I know if I’m in with a chance and soforth)
Right on.
I like this a lot. I also see it as a practical thing. I don’t always have time to give every single person a lecture on my sexuality and exactly how it works. If there are labels that describe me, why not use them to make it easier?
I’m now labelling myself ‘old’. It’s kind of liberating. I think other people are labelling me that way as well. It’s so daggy I kind of like it.